Category: Let's talk
I've been talking to this guy for some time. He seems cool, laid back, and smart. We have some stuff in common, and I'm determined to make friends with him because to me, he's the kind of person I could have seen myself talking to a long time ago! He seems open minded, to a certain extent, and has lots of knowledge of my music interests, he is from Mexico. I met him through a site that he is the administrator of, and have been helping him to maintain it. We've come a long way since I first discovered the site, and now he's on my contacts list for messenger.
But undoubtedly, he is sighted. I neglected to tell him about my blindness for the time being, because we hadn't really been talking that much, I was waiting for the right time, and I didn't feel it necessary at the time. But recently, i had to tell him, because I started having trouble with the site. The skin he uses for his blog is a touch inaccessible, and also he was asking things of me that were going to be hard, do to my screen reader.
Recently he was attempting to teach me to write ascii characters on the keyboard, and I am still unable to learn. He is accustomed to teaching things using graphics! I tried to explain to him that I am blind, and therefore have to use a screen reader, yet he is still insisting that I learn to post, using the graphics he has provided on the tutorials. I have already reminded him several times that I cant see, but he doesn't know of any other way to teach me, and I really want to learn! What should I do? i really believe he can teach me, but I dont think he understands about my blindness. Also I dont want this to affect my potential friendship with him, but to me, he is coming across as an impatient person, and now he thinks he hasn't done a good job explaining the tutorials! I dont want to stress him, but I want to learn to do these things on the computer. Not only because it interests me, but I know that he has not yet set a limit on what I can do, and that is good! and sort of uncommon for most sighted people. Also I see this as sort of a way to get to know each other, only now I'm not so sure if I've done this correctly! How should I approach this situation? Any kind of advice, technical or otherwise, will be greatly appreciated! Thanks :)
Ashley
Sweetheart, if you're still not able to learn what he's trying to teach you, he's right in thinking that he hasn't done a good job with the way he's trying to help you. Don't let him off the hook so easily. After all, it's he who isn't listening; you've told him time and again that you can't see and he keeps insisting that you should use the graphics. I have no technical advice for you but it sounds like you're stressing/freaking yourself out and this friendship is a two-way street. If he's not willing to even remember that you can't see, you may want to throw something sharp at him. I kid, I kid. seriously though, all technicalities aside, remember that it takes two to make a friendship possible and he has to pull his weight too.
heehee! I did that 3 months ago and I'm now in a relationship with him, lol.
Jen.
Lmao! Well I think he stresses out a little because he isn't sure how to show me! I'll have to talk to him on messenger, and maybe we can straighten some things out, but from what it seems like, either he isn't used to teaching without graphics, or he doesn't really believe I cant see! I'm not sure! Also he seems like he's really self-absorbant! So yeah!
I'm intrigued about this graphics thing. Can you tell us more about it Ashley? I mean all that about writing ascii characters and graphics and so on. The only way I know of writing what I think are ascii chars on a keyboard is alt+the numpad with the num lock on, but perhaps that is vastly different to what you mean. Let's see if we can't fix that challenge at least.
As for the guy, I agree with Danielle, except I wouldn't kid about the throwing something sharp, grin.
Ok, basically what I am trying to do is, he is trying to teach me to write Spanish characters in ascii. He was trying to explain the alternate numbers on the laptop, which, thanks to some extra research on my part, I was able to understand! However, i am still unable to reproduce the characters with the alt numbers because I am using a laptop. I'm wondering if it's something to do with the way my keyboard is set up, and if i should change any settings. Also, the purpose of the graphics was to show me the way a blog post should look! i am having trouble learning how to format the posts, but I think the only way for me to really master that one is to play with it myself, or to try to get him to show me. I just wish he'd explain it in some other way than images!
Ah, now I'm with you. Hmm, no good with the laptop issue sorry, I'll look into it though and if noone else has answered this post by the time I'll find out I'll post it here of course.
Blog formatting. I think that's where subtlty definitely isn't the key. Be blunt with him I reckon. "I can't see the images, my screenreader can't interpret them, so describe the format and layout of your blog". Something like that. Other than that, how does he format the blog posts? By clicking tags on the blogging platform? For example in wordpress you have a list of stuff you can click (bold, underline, lists, code, all sorts). Click it once, and everything you type after that is formatted according to what you clicked. Click the same thing again and it's back to normal. Before you hit the post link it shows you the source, try and get him to send you that if his blogging platform does the same, that way it should give you an idea of the formatting at least.
hth,
Simon
I think it has some graphic things you can click, and there are also shortcuts such as control b for bold, etc.
It sounds to me like he has one way of teaching and doesn't know how else to explain things. I don't think he is having trouble understanding or remembering that you are blind, he is just limited in his knowledge regarding screen readers and doesn't know how to explain things so a blind person can understand them.
Ok, i did my first post on the blog, and it went pretty good! Only trouble is, I do not know where to put a link in there. My post has text in it, and I am needing to put a link underneath it, but I do not know how to do this. Also the link needs to have some text on it. Does someone know how to do this?
To Becky: I dunno... I was thinking about this whole situation this morning when I first saw this board, and since my first post was lost when the site went down, here I am again. lol. Anyway, a few of my friends and I have had the same experience of online or phone friends being unable to grasp the fact that we're blind. I think I've come up with a theory as to why: Many people who have never seen a blind person function in society to any degree believe that we surely can't be capable of something like maintaining a blog or even having an intelligent conversation on the phone. Since these people can't see us living normal lives, they just can't get their head around the fact that we have little or no vision. If they do get it at all, they think we just have a vision problem that can be corrected with glasses or something. This is not true of everyone, but it is true of many.
Ashley, I would make a point to have a conversation with him specifically about your vision problem. Make sure he fully understands how blind you are, haha, before you let the conversation drop. And hey, if he lets it affect your friendship, then he's not much of a friend anyway.
Namaste,
Becky
Some people just don’t get it. I have people asking all sorts of questions of me because I am blind. So, suggest to him to write out the things instead of using graphics. Try to be kind and persuasive. Bluntness isn’t the answer, it will just make both of you angry. Tell him how it will benefit him if he does it that way. Don’t criticize his methods, say something along the lines of
“It’s very nice of you to teach me this stuff, and want to do it. Not a lot will, so I do thank you. I do recommend that you do write out what you are trying to teach me instead of using graphics, as it will be of more use and your teaching will be really effective. I can not see, so this will be helpful. You are already a great helper and to improve your self, perhaps learning to instruct a blind person will help you make more friends. Good luck with typing out the description for me.”
I’ve used this method with lots of things, and you know I have lost track of just how many friends I have made.